Cursed No More: Brewers’ Bats Awaken After Dugout Sage Cleansing…Read more 

Cursed No More: Brewers’ Bats Awaken After Dugout Sage Cleansing 

MILWAUKEE — After a three-game losing streak and a string of eerily quiet bats, the Milwaukee Brewers may have finally found the secret to turning their luck around — and it wasn’t in the batting cages.

Prior to Tuesday night’s 5–0 shutout win over the Detroit Tigers, whispers swirled around American Family Field that something otherworldly had taken hold of the clubhouse. Slumping hitters. Defensive misfires. Unearned runs piling up. Fans and players alike began to wonder: Were the Brewers cursed?

Enter clubhouse assistant Jimmy “Mojo” Delgado, who, according to sources, staged an impromptu sage cleansing ceremony in the home dugout just hours before first pitch.

“He said he was gonna ‘clear the bad juju,’” laughed outfielder Sal Frelick, who broke out of an 0-for-12 slump with a pair of hits and two RBIs. “We thought he was kidding — then he actually lit sage, waved it around the bats, and walked the length of the dugout muttering something about the ‘baseball gods.’ We just let it happen.”

And somehow, it worked.

Rhys Hoskins launched his first home run of the season — a towering shot to left-center that he claims “smelled faintly of rosemary.” Garrett Mitchell and Joey Ortiz chipped in with clutch hits, and rookie Quinn Priester tossed five hitless innings in a debut that felt, well, blessed.

“You laugh at this stuff until the bats wake up and the bullpen throws a one-hitter,” manager Pat Murphy said, grinning. “I don’t know if it was the sage or the lineup shuffle, but hey — whatever works.”

Fans have taken to social media to embrace the team’s new ritual. The hashtag #SageTheStage trended locally on X (formerly Twitter), with some fans even bringing bundles of dried herbs to Wednesday night’s finale.

While no one is officially endorsing mysticism as part of the Brewers’ strategy moving forward, team captain Christian Yelich didn’t rule it out: “If Jimmy wants to do that again before every game — I’m not stopping him.”

As the Brewers try to climb above .500 and challenge for the NL Central lead, one thing’s for certain: the bad vibes have been benched — and the bats are back